SHIT!! That is how it feels. For three long years I kept fighting with A so that he would let me drive. It was such a sore topic between us. Finally we bought a new CAARR and I could not stop smiling. It was my key to independence. I was driving it well and both of us felt quite confident about my driving. At the exact moment when I thought I was free from long and tiring auto-riksha waits, coordinating with A about where to meet so that we could go home together I go and hit the barricade. It is all such a blur. I don't remember how it happened. I don't remember why I wasn't fast enough on the break. I don’t remember anything except the horrible sound (boom..bang....crash…boom)
I drove into the yellow dividers and luckily no one was hurt (except my brand new car) .The cops came running and the first thing they told me was that I was lucky as there was no traffic from the opposite side. You bet I was lucky that day. What if there was a pedestrian? What if the traffic was moving? What if??? It is killing me and I am feeling so stupid. I had a conversation with my friend and he was kind enough to point out that it is just a car and not a body part, which cannot be replaced. Though it makes sense, it doesn't make me feel any better!!
I wish I had learnt driving while I was younger, maybe my reflexes would have been much sharper then. Maybe I should have never tried it. I hope I can learn from this and move on, try to be a better driver. But right now there are issues to take care of. How much cover will I get? Will my car look new again? Will the dents show? How do I tell my family members that I banged my new car? And the most important can I trust myself again with the steering? Will I feel happy again handling the wheel or will it be a continuous torture.
That also makes me think – are women genetically bad drivers? Are they not programmed to be efficient with machinery? Or is it the reflex? I am not trying to find solace behind these questions; it is just that you hear such comments so often. My security guard was amazed to see the dented car. GOD! I cannot forget his expression when he was told that I was behind the wheels when it happened. His expressions changed from ‘was it a bus saar to hmm ...that explains it” in a nanosecond. But to contradict it there are not may bad accidents by women- case in point- BMW accident in Delhi. All major accidents that are reported have men drivers. Women are bullied nonetheless for being bad drivers. Though the truth is women are more careful while driving. We make take long turns, we may take a second longer to cross the signal, and we even take a longer time to overtake but mostly we try not to hurt anybody.
I drove into the yellow dividers and luckily no one was hurt (except my brand new car) .The cops came running and the first thing they told me was that I was lucky as there was no traffic from the opposite side. You bet I was lucky that day. What if there was a pedestrian? What if the traffic was moving? What if??? It is killing me and I am feeling so stupid. I had a conversation with my friend and he was kind enough to point out that it is just a car and not a body part, which cannot be replaced. Though it makes sense, it doesn't make me feel any better!!
I wish I had learnt driving while I was younger, maybe my reflexes would have been much sharper then. Maybe I should have never tried it. I hope I can learn from this and move on, try to be a better driver. But right now there are issues to take care of. How much cover will I get? Will my car look new again? Will the dents show? How do I tell my family members that I banged my new car? And the most important can I trust myself again with the steering? Will I feel happy again handling the wheel or will it be a continuous torture.
That also makes me think – are women genetically bad drivers? Are they not programmed to be efficient with machinery? Or is it the reflex? I am not trying to find solace behind these questions; it is just that you hear such comments so often. My security guard was amazed to see the dented car. GOD! I cannot forget his expression when he was told that I was behind the wheels when it happened. His expressions changed from ‘was it a bus saar to hmm ...that explains it” in a nanosecond. But to contradict it there are not may bad accidents by women- case in point- BMW accident in Delhi. All major accidents that are reported have men drivers. Women are bullied nonetheless for being bad drivers. Though the truth is women are more careful while driving. We make take long turns, we may take a second longer to cross the signal, and we even take a longer time to overtake but mostly we try not to hurt anybody.
I write all this to gather courage to pick up the repaired (now it is not new anymore :-( ) car and build up the confidence that I need to drive it now. All I know now is that it is not going to be easy for a while. But, what the heck- I will do it, slow and steady and also learn to swear as they say you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Ahaan maybe that was my mistake, I never swore enough :)
